By Sharon for The Bride's Avenue
One of the most romantic things you can do is write your own wedding vows, or not. It can actually be a really painful experience particularly if you don’t get it right for you. We are not speaking about perfection here, but if you are writing your vows, you want words that perfectly capture the way you feel. This is not always as easy as it sounds so if you have both decided to write your wedding vows, here are a few tips to help you work through it.
Don’t leave it till the last minute
If you are serious about writing your wedding vows, then this is a decision you should take early and you should definitely not leave this till the last minute. There are some people who do literally everything last minute (yeah, I’m guilty as well), but leaving it till late will only put pressure on you.
Clear with your officiant
It is easy to overlook this point and yet it is a really important one. What is the point of labouring over heartfelt and meaningful wedding vows only to discover that your wedding officiant vetoes the idea? Exactly, no point at all. Some religious institutions insist on traditional vows. Make sure your officiant gives you the all-clear before you go ahead with writing your vows.
Discuss with your partner
It is one thing for you to decide that you are going to write your own vows, but you need to make sure that your partner is also on board with the idea. It is important for you two to sit together and talk about your wedding vows and the type of vows you want. You might also want to talk about the length of your vows as well, just to get that off your mind.
Write down your thoughts
If you have a journal that would make your work much easier. It means you could easily flip through and recollect memories that mean a lot to you. If you didn’t keep a journal during the period you dated, fear not. Have a notebook you carry along with you all the time and write down your thoughts. Write down whatever you want to capture; your emotions, memories, what makes your partner special, etc. This is why you should start writing early.
Don’t get stuck with sentences
Once you start writing, you need to understand that what you’re writing is a first draft. This means that you can write pretty much anything you want to write. If you’re not much of a writer (and even if you are), it’s easy to get stuck trying to get the perfect sentence. Don’t. If you can’t find a sentence to describe what you want to write, use a word or a phrase. Put it down in bullet points if you have to, the important thing is to get it written down.
Put on your research hat
Before you settle down to write your final copy, take some time out to research what other people have written. Apracticalwedding.com has a list of weddings vows that will make you laugh and cry. You can start there. Go through the ones that really resonate with you. You won’t like all the vows you read online, and that’s okay. But they will guide you as you write yours.
Be true to your voice
When all is said and done, this is really about you and your partner. It’s okay to read what other people have written, or even get someone else’s perspective on what you are writing. However, you are you, unique and one in a million and that person needs to be heard. You don’t need to sound like anyone else, be as quirky, fun or crazy as your partner knows you to be.